White Noise
by justanoutlaw
Summary: Robin is struggling to get his new daughter to stop crying. Luckily for him, he has his cute neighbor to help.


**S5/S6 canon divergence. In a world where Regina never took the fertility potion. Takes place after Robin's death. Based on an episode of Private Practice. Snow Queen/Regina & Little John (do they have a ship name?) feels.**

"I will give you anything if you just stop crying," Robin pleaded, pacing back and forth. A screaming bundle of tomato was wrapped up in his arms, refusing to stop, wiggling profusely. "Come on, doesn't a nice Mercedes for your 16th birthday sound nice?"

Nice job. You've had the kid 72 hours and you're already giving out bribes.

It wasn't as if it mattered. No one but the baby would be around to hold him to his end of the bargain anyway. His apartment was a mess, covered with dirty baby clothes, discarded rattles and bottles that hadn't made their way to the sink. He was convinced he hadn't slept during that time either. His cream t-shirt was stained with spit up and he could practically feel the bags under his eyes.

"Please, Peanut," he begged. "Don't you want to sleep? I know I want to?"

A sudden knock on the door seemed to only upset the baby more. Robin adjusted her and headed over to the door, side-stepping the Target bags and barely assembled bassinet. His neighbor stood on the other side of the door, her raven hair tied up in a ponytail, wearing a flannel shirt and jeans. Regina placed her hands on her hips.

"Robin, I know you're not agreeing to babysit when I have finals," she said.

Robin shut his eyes, shaking his head. Normally, he'd be up for the banter with the pretty woman who lived down the hall, but he was just too damn tired. "Not today, Regina."

She frowned, taking a step forward and taking the apartment in. "Did you get a brand deal with Target or something?"

"For a law student you really are one step behind." Robin cuddled the baby closer to him. "She's mine."

Regina blinked several times. "Yours? But…you weren't even seeing anyone. At least I didn't think you were."

"I wasn't." He sighed. "Look, if you help me calm Esme down, I'll explain everything."

"Esme?"

"I didn't pick it. Please just help."

Regina nodded, taking the baby from his arms. She cradled her head and paced back and forth, trying to shush her. It was working as well as Robin, at first, the baby even more upset with a stranger. Regina gently gave him back and he frowned.

"Giving up already?"

"Shhh."

She pulled her phone out from her pocket and fiddled with it. Ocean sounds came from it that felt oddly calming for Robin and seemed to do the same for Esme. She slowly stopped in his arms and her mouth began to make a suckling motion. Robin bent down, grabbing hold of the pacifier, putting it in her mouth. A few moments later and she was asleep. He tiredly grinned.

"You did it," he whispered.

"White noise. Calms down my anxiety, figured it work on a baby," she said.

Robin slowly settled Esme into her bassinet. He lead Regina into the kitchen and grabbed some beer for the two of them. He was brought back to the day he moved into the building. She had offered to help him, introducing herself as the girl down the hall. He had paid her with her beer and they had been best friends ever since. Regina had gone back to law school after leaving her husband and was starting over in Storybrooke, just as Robin was after both his parents died. It seemed like an obvious match for friendship.

"So," Regina said, as they dropped down onto his wicker chairs. "How the hell is that your baby?"

Robin sighed, running his fingers through his tangled dark blonde hair. "Remember David's bachelor party a few months ago?"

"Yes, you came back quite…inebriated."

"Well, I had hooked up with someone that night. I didn't think much of it, clearly she didn't either because she didn't try to track me down for over a year."

Regina tilted her head. "But that's…the product of that night?"

Robin nodded. "Yup."

"Are you sure?"

"I did a DNA test."

"And where is the mother now?"

"She knocked on my door, told me she couldn't do it and left." Regina gave him a bewildered look. "Yeah, I didn't have much time to think about it. Luckily, Will convinced me to get a DNA test before I did anything. David helped me get it back quickly."

"You should've come to me, I could've helped."

"I didn't want to worry you. Plus, I didn't want anyone getting attached before I figured it out."

"So…you're keeping her?"

"What else would I do?"

"You had options, but it seems you've made up your mind." Regina fingers gripped the beer. "How old is she?"

"3 months." Robin softly smiled. "When she's not crying, she's quite cute. I think she just hates me."

"She doesn't hate you." Regina reached over and touched his hand. "She's just in a new place, it's scary."

Robin sighed. "I just feel in over my head. I don't know what to do."

Regina pulled away and got up, heading further into his kitchen. She rummaged around for a bit. When she returned, she had a yellow legal pad and pen. Uncapping it, she wrote something down.

"First," she said. "You need to get custody. Even if the mother is gone, she could come back at any point. You've already established paternity so this should be easy."

Robin nodded. "Okay. What else?"

"She needs a doctor's visits, then regular ones after. Babies normally see doctors once a month during the first couple of years."

"Really?"

"Yup. I'll get you some books on raising babies."

"Books?" Robin made a face.

"Yes, books. You'll live." She smirked. "You gotta figure out childcare, I'm sure work will only let you take off for so long."

Robin nodded. He was lucky his friends at the bar had been so understanding. "True."

"And finally." She underlined the last one. "You call me, if you need me, day or night."

"Regina, you're busy…"

"Never too busy for you. Now go jump in the shower, I'll listen out for the baby and order us some takeout."

He nodded, pushing the chair back and getting up. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Don't think about it too much." She flashed him a smile and he returned it. "Now go, before I leave. You sort of reek."

He rolled his eyes. "You try 3 days alone with a baby."


End file.
